Malik, 13, loves science experiments and gets really excited about reciting facts about space. He is an eager collaborator with other students, and is very thorough and thoughtful about his classwork.
However, Malik often pushes back on seemingly simple requests, such as refusing to enter the classroom if he thinks he’s being ordered to do so. Additionally, he frequently engages teachers in lengthy debates to question classroom rules. At times, when the pressure to comply is too much, he either explodes in frustration or withdraws in silence.
Students like Malik are not being willfully defiant. They are trying to survive in an environment that can feel unpredictable and overwhelming. Malik’s attempts to control his anxiety manifest into Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a condition increasingly recognized within the autism and neurodiversity spectrums. The “demand,” even one as simple as lining up, triggers a threat for Malik. By negotiating or resisting, he’s trying to regain a feeling of control.
In order to create supportive environments for all students, we need to understand more about PDA, including how to work with students who present with this unique neurological profile. PDA is characterized by an extreme avoidance of demands and expectations, driven by anxiety and a need for control. Students with PDA often feel overwhelmed or threatened by even routine requests, such as being asked to take out a pencil, line up, or respond to a question. Some examples of how PDA manifests are:
- Avoidance of demands through social strategies (e.g., distraction, excuses, role play, or fantasy)
- Masking with surface-level social skills
- Sudden mood changes or meltdowns under pressure
- A strong need for autonomy and control
Traditional behavior strategies often fall short (or backfire!) with students who have PDA. Rewards, consequences, and firm boundaries may inadvertently increase anxiety and trigger further avoidance from the student. Instead, educators can use collaborative, flexible approaches to build trust and reduce pressure. Here are some ideas for turning control into collaboration for students with PDA:
- Indirect Language: Instead of direct commands like “Open your book,” try phrasing things more collaboratively, like, “I wonder what page we’re on today.” This softens the demand and invites the student to engage without feeling controlled.
- Choices: Students who need to manage control can benefit from choices and autonomy, like “Would you like to work at your desk, or at the back table?”
- Relationship: A solid relationship with the student can increase predictability and consistency, and ease anxiety.
- Avoid Power Struggles: As we mentioned above, students with PDA sometimes engage educators in debates about requests to comply. It’s best not to engage in the debate, but to acknowledge the student’s feelings and revisit the request at a later time. Sometimes, postponing or rephrasing a task can make it more approachable for the student.
When educators recognize the signs of PDA and respond with flexibility and compassion, they open the door to trust, learning, and meaningful engagement. With the right strategies, students with PDA can feel safe and in control of their learning experiences.
About the Author
Betsy Butler (she/her) is a Professional Learning Specialist at Teaching Channel. She holds a B.A. in English, a Master’s in Education, and has been teaching since 1992. Betsy uses her three decades of teaching experience to write and revise our courses while selecting the perfect accompanying texts. Her specialty areas include ELA, special education topics, behavior management, and mental health.
Fun Fact: Betsy’s daily conquest is solving the New York Times crossword puzzle!
